"The psycho"

It's no secret to those who have been around me lately...I'm extremely hormonal (Mike just tells me I'm psycho...to put it nicely). I'm ultra-sensitive right now and I'm driving myself nuts and probably everyone around me! This pregnancy is SO different from my pregnancy with Ben. I felt so even-keeled, emotion wise, during those nine months, even with all of the medical issues I had (ruptured appendix at 18 weeks, gall bladder issues causing early contractions around seven mths, etc). I've heard every pregnancy is different...and boy do I believe it now.

I've been in bed for the last hour, but couldn't fall asleep...just a million things running through my head...I felt the need to vent...so, lucky you! I am approaching 32 weeks and just feel overwhelmed with life (as a result of the aforementioned hormones...which make me irrational...regardless, I still feel the way I feel!). I feel like everything at work is really piling up right now! I am ending 2008 and have all kinds of things to wrap up over the next two to three weeks, but I'm also planning for 2009 and have coworkers to "train" to do my job while I'm out on leave. As I'm writing this, I realize how silly it sounds. Why do I lie awake at night thinking about this stuff? It's all important to me and I really do take pride in my job. It's my nature to want to do my best and perform well and have everything be just right...but I know it's not as important as my baby or my Ben or Mike. I just wish I could not care right now...but I do...therefore, I stress.

Anyway, I realize this is completely boring and why I'm posting it for you all to read is beyond me...but I blame it on hormones. I blame everything on them these days and so far it's gotten me off the hook for lots of bad behavior! :) I realize there are people out there, probably some of you, who are dealing with far, far, far worse situations than anything I am complaining about. I should be grateful and most of the time I am...but right now...I'm tired and stressed and hormonal...so, sorry for the rant!

I guess I just need to remind myself of the verse below from 1 Corinthians. I like this version from The Message. I think I'll print it and hang in on my desk at work and somewhere here at home too.

"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

I actually feel better after writing this all out...like, at least for the moment, I put things back in perspective. I'm sure I'll relapse...but maybe now I can fall asleep. I'll leave you with a belly shot...here she is...the reason her Mommy is affectionately referred to now as "the psycho." I really can't wait to meet her and have all this behind me.