It’s hard to actually admit these things…I look at the life God has blessed me with and I am truly thankful. I love and adore my husband and three precious babies so much. The problem is, I have taken those blessings and allowed them to take higher priority than my relationship with Christ. It seems totally acceptable to say “I put my family first”, but when I take time to think about it, I realize I’m not being the best mom or wife by putting them first …in all actuality, I’m failing them by not putting Christ first (and let me be totally honest here, I don’t always put my family first either…there are LOTS of times when I waste too much time on other things that are of far less value than my family OR my relationship with God!).
Benny got a new Bible for Christmas and we’ve been reading stories from it every night and talking about how God worked in different people’s lives (Noah, Jonah, etc) and how much He loves us. It’s so fun to talk with him about his faith and watch him grow in his knowledge of the Bible, but how long has it been since I’ve opened my own Bible and read something for my own spiritual growth? Way too long! I’m ashamed to admit that…but I’m on an honesty roll here. I want to be an example for my children in my actions and not just my words.
Ok…all that to say... my heart, my focus, and my priorities have got to change…I want them to change. I have total faith that God can draw me closer to Him if I allow Him to. Tonight, before I sat down to write this post, I prayed that God would help me focus on the areas where I can do better. I was reminded of Galatians 5:22…the fruit of the Spirit…
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”
I recently worked with Ben to help him memorize the “fruits” and I feel like spending some time reminding myself of what it looks like to “live the fruits” is a good place to start this change in my own heart and actions. I pray that God will use his Spirit to control my life and that over time my allegiance to Him will become more and more evident in the things that I say and do.
...Every healthy (sound) tree
bears good fruit [worthy of admiration],
but the sickly (decaying, worthless) tree
bears bad (worthless) fruit.
A good (healthy) tree cannot bear bad (worthless) fruit,
nor can a bad (diseased) tree
bear excellent fruit [worthy of admiration]...
Therefore,
you will fully know them by their fruits.
- Matthew 7:17-20
Thanks for listening (or reading)…bring on the good fruit!
(On a seperate note, can you believe I hit publish without attaching ONE picture to this post?! That took a lot of self-control. :))
10 comments:
This is a good lesson for all of us. We sometimes forget Who our focus should be on in our busy lives as women as as moms. This was a good reminder to me as I start my day.
This was an awesome post, Al. I think it's really hard to keep the order of priorities at God, Spouse, Children when you have three kids who need constant care, love, and attention. REALLY HARD. Thanks for sharing this with all of us, because you are certainly not alone in this struggle. It's definitely a lesson that needs to be learned over and over and over again...
For what it's worth, I think you're producing a lot of good fruit now, too. Just look at the love Benny has for Jesus already!
Love you.
Amen, Ali! The best "resolution" for the new year...to focus more on God and His Spirit in our lives! I agree with Kim...a great reminder to all of us!
Thanks for writing this, Ali. I really appreciated your transparency and think it's something that we all relate to and need to talk about and encourage each other in.
And I agree with Abby. I think a lot of our fruits of living by the spirit are how we're being a living example. And Ben's already an amazing testament to that.
Love!
One of the most helpful things I ever heard in a time of spiritual distance from God and disappointment in my own (lack of) effort was this: God doesn't just know you are capable of change, He EXPECTS it. The part of your post that mentions your faith that God can help you improve this situation made me think of that advice. It's pretty powerful when you realize that your Creator EXPECTS you to improve, rather than simply believing that you can if you just try hard enough. It's like parenting - expecting something from your child is more likely to get that result that wishful hoping. Great parents expect great things. God expects great things from you, but He wouldn't if He didn't KNOW that you (with His help, of course) will deliver.
so appreciate this post ali. i struggle with the same issues. balance is so hard!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBhqrtMqrv8
Watch this...love francis chan
Hey, Ali! This is not easy for anyone. Our family loves Francis Chan. A good book to get you recharged (of course, along with reading the Bible), is Crazy Love. We have been in a crazy whirlwind since reading that, followed by Radical by David Platt, among a few other good ones that will MESS YOU UP! (For the better......)
Watch this clip----it's a short clip of Francis Chan. It is the perfect visual of being lukewarm and loving it....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA_uwWPE6lQ
If this link doesn't work, just google Francis Chan balance beam. You won't regret it.
Love, Wendy
Great post and you wrote everything I've been feeling lately too. I'll be starting the journey of finding a new church family. I keep putting it off out of laziness but I also keep praying about it and know I just need to reach out and it will find me.
I absolutely could've written this post. Thanks for your honesty here!
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